Thought-Provoking Thursday: 95 Questions, Part 4
Here is the final set of questions from Marc and Angel Hack Life’s 95 Questions to Help You Find Meaning and Happiness. Before I get started with my answers I wanted to share some thoughts I had with you. I have already found my happiness although it did take some time finding it. This year I have learned that happiness is self-imposed. Happiness cannot be given to us by things or by others; it is an emotional state we all have the choice to be in. I choose to be happy but I was unable to access that emotion until I removed the barriers standing in my way. I needed to learn acceptance. Acceptance for who I am today not for the person I hope to be in the future. I needed to realize that I am good enough, strike that, I am freaking awesome as is. Just because I am not at an ideal weight doesn’t make me less of a person. I still love, am kind to others, lend a helping hand when needed, I am a shoulder to cry on or a warm embrace, and I have always treated my friends like family. I was and am awesome, and I have accepted that. With that acceptance came self-love as I learned to cherish this body and treat myself with the respect I deserved. I also needed to forgive myself for getting to a place where I was so unhappy with myself and the life I was leading, where I was unhealthy and wasting my life. Yes, it would have been nice if I never made all of those poor decisions that lead me here but I feel like it was the path I was meant to be on. Not only do I now have this blog and a world of amazing people I get to share my life with, I have also learned to not take of this for granted and to appreciate every day as the gift it is. Forgiveness, acceptance, and love made it so I could access my happiness and I do so every day. What is standing between you and your happiness?
The other goal of these posts was for me to find meaning in my life. It says on my page (on this blog) that I am just trying to make my mark on the world which some days it was hard to feel like that would ever happen. I used to think that I was just another person, just living my life, and that I really didn’t have much impact on others. This was especially true when I would think about my friends. My friends have lots of friends so why do they need me? Am I really an important part of their life? Would their world be any different if I wasn’t a regular part of it? Sometimes it was hard to feel like I mattered, like I was important to others. Now as I have grown and learned more about myself I see now how important I really am. I don’t mean that in an ‘I’m so important, more important than you’ type of way I mean that in the ‘I am important and so are you’ type of way. What I am trying to get at is that realizing my importance, my true self-worth, has given me meaning in my life. Being a good wife, daughter, and friend is the meaning of my life. Being there for those who matter most to me is the meaning of my life. Inspiring others and helping people find the meaning of their life is the meaning of my life. Being inspired by others to change, progress, break down personal barriers, and truly live is the meaning of my life. I hope you know, or choose to find, the meaning of yours.
Now, onto the questions J
1. What’s something you would do every day if you could? Read. I love to read but it’s just not that high on my priority list right now. I try to make time to read at night but that doesn’t happen daily but I hope that one day it will.
2. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive? I think that would be after my Nia White Belt Intensive, after the graduation ceremony, when we were all dancing and celebrating together. It just reaffirmed my love for Nia, how much joy it brings me, and how lucky I am for the wonderful community I have to share it with.
3. Which is worse, failing or never trying? Definitely never trying. If we try and fail at least we can learn from the experience and that can help us find success in the end. Failure also teaches us perseverance, dedication, strength, and courage.
4. What makes you feel incomplete? There are times when Paul is away when I have no communication with him whatsoever. I am not a big fan of that. Its one thing when he is away and we can still talk on the phone it is another when I have no way to reach him and having no idea when I will hear from him. I feel incomplete when I can’t share my day with Paul and he can’t share his with me.
5. When did you experience a major turning point in your life? I know you all have heard me say how this journey has changed my life and it’s true. It really has changed my life but I want to tell you about something you might not have known- a major event in my life that changed my world very dramatically. My best friend committed suicide on January 2nd, 1998 and that was by far the worst day of my life. Jed had dealt with depression the whole time we were friends and had attempted suicide before. He had a lot of demons he was battling, as was I at the time, and I tried to be there for him best I could. I was 19 years old when he died. My world was shattered. I had no idea how to handle his death or the guilt I felt because of it. Even now as the anniversary approaches I think of the New Year’s Eves we spent together and the fun times we had growing up and it breaks my heart that he could never find the strength he needed to survive. I wish he was still with us every day. He was an amazing, kind, loving, funny, warm and friendly guy who didn’t have a single enemy. Just an overall lovable guy. It breaks my heart that I couldn’t have done more.
6. What or who do you wish you lived closer to? Don’t get me wrong, I love moving to new places and making new friends but I really do miss living in Philly. So I would definitely say my friends in the Philly/NJ area as well as all of the friends I made while living in Florida, Ohio and Washington and of course all the wonderful people I have met through this blog, twitter, Facebook, and the Weight Watchers online community. I wish I lived near you all (if you are reading this you are definitely included in that list 
) so I could give you a big hug and thank you in person for all of your love and support.
7. If you had the opportunity to get a message across to a large group of people, what would your message be? Anything is possible if you just believe
8. What’s something you know you can count on? The people in my life. They are always there for me through thick and thin.
9. What makes you feel comfortable? Familiar situations although I should add that I am getting more comfortable in unfamiliar situations now too.
10. What’s something about you that has never changed? I don’t wear makeup regularly. Even in high school I had to have my neighbor put on my makeup for me on prom night. I never got into wearing makeup and the skills required to do so were never developed. Now when I do wear makeup (maybe once a year at most) I kind of look like a hooker. I seriously need help being a girl. LOL!
11. What will be different about your life in exactly one year? Probably many things. Probably many things I don’t even realize could happen. In a year so many things happen. I would say that for sure in a year my life will be different because I will have taught a Nia (hopefully multiple) class. I can’t wait to learn my first routine and start sharing Nia with others.
12. What mistakes do you make over and over again? I put my shirts in the hamper inside out. My socks go in the hamper either inside out, inside my pant legs, or both. It kind of drives Paul crazy. I don’t do intentionally though.
13. What do you have a hard time saying “no” to? Vegan cupcakes from Green. Those little suckers are freaking fabulous. Paul and I get one to go very time we are there and then split it later. I had a red velvet one on Tuesday which was a little bite of heaven. My favorite so far was the mint chocolate cupcake. What can I say; I have always been a sucker for cupcakes. .
14. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing? At first I started writing that every day I am doing what I believe in but that’s not entirely true. I can think of things in my life that I settle for in order to be able to do what I believe in. Does that make sense? Like there are aspects I settle for in order for me to do other things I believe in.
15. What’s something that used to scare you, but no longer does? I used to have terrible anxiety particularly when I was in a car as a passenger. I used to have severe panic attacks any time we would be driving in bad weather. Now, not so much. So I guess my fear would have been dying in a car accident and now don’t have those reactions when I am in a car.
16. What promise to yourself do you still need to fulfill? The promise that one day I will be a mother.
17. What do you appreciate most about your current situation? I appreciate the fact that it allows me to live such a great life. We have enough money for me to afford two gym memberships and take all kinds of crazy classes and buy new clothes when needed and try out new recipes and buy fresh foods. We are not rich by any means but we do have enough to allow me to live this new lifestyle. I should note that taking a job that paid me 40% more than my previous employer definitely helped. I also appreciate the fact that I live in a city that has a great boxing studio and yoga studio where I can take classes, weekly year-round farmers markets, multiple grocery stores that have vegan friendly options and vegan friendly restaurants makes my life really great.
18. What’s something simple that makes you smile? Hugs. I am big on hugging. Just ask my French roommate from college. The French aren’t really huggers but I got her into the habit pretty quickly.
19. So far, what has been the primary focus of your life? I would have to say my career. Undergrad and grad school, co-ops, internships, and assistantships. Working since I was 14 and now when I make big decisions I always question how it will affect my career. Leaving a great management position in Philly and going back into an analyst role in Texas was a big change for me (financially and career-wise) but I have moved forward and continue to try to progress my career.
20. How do you know when it’s time to move on? When things just don’t feel right. If a person or a situation makes you feel bad or bad about yourself it is time to cut ties and move on.
21. What’s something you wish you could do one more time? Get married again and I don’t mean to a different person. I just mean I would like to have another ceremony and this time invite all my friends and family. Paul and I got married at a small chapel in Florida with 5 of our friends present. My parents were going through an awful divorce (random thing about my parents is that they got divorced and then a couple years later started dating each other. They now live together but are not married to each other) and Paul and I didn’t want to deal with any family drama so we just had a quick little ceremony.
22. When you’re 90-years-old, what will matter to you the most? The memories I have made.
23. What would you regret not fully doing, being, or having in your life? I will regret not ever finding a way to have children.
Thanks for reading!
Thought-Provoking Thursday: 95 Questions, Part 3
Continuing on from last week’s post, here are my answers to 24 more questions from Marc and Angel Hack Life’s 95 Questions to Help You Find Meaning and Happiness post. If you are participating in this four part post please leave me your answers or link to your blog in the comments section.
1. When you think of ‘home,’ what, specifically, do you think of? I think of my parent’s house they currently live in, which is not the house I grew up in.
2. What’s the most valuable thing you own? My engagement ring. Last year for Christmas we had the original diamond taken out and put in a diamond from a ring that my father gave to Paul- it was my grandfather’s ring. It is by far the most valuable thing I own because of what it represents and the ties it carries with my family.
3. If you had to move 3000 miles away, what would you miss most? I move around a lot and now that Paul is in the Army it is just a matter of time before we have to move again. When the time comes to leave San Antonio, what I will miss the most are my friends and the wonderful community I have found here.
4. What would make you smile right now? If someone could turn the heat up in here. It’s freezing!
5. What do you do when nothing else seems to make you happy? Give Paul a hug, if he is around, or turn to my friends for a laugh/smile.
6. What do you wish did not exist in your life? Infertility
7. What should you avoid to improve your life? For me, following a vegan diet has drastically improved my life so I would say avoiding animal products.
8. What is something you would hate to go without for a day? Sadly I will have to say my iPhone
9. What’s the biggest lie you once believed was true? That I didn’t deserve happiness
10. What’s something bad that happened to you that made you stronger? Growing up in a household with a parent suffering through a mental illness
11. What’s something nobody could ever steal from you? My heart, my ability to love.
12. What’s something you disliked when you were younger that you truly enjoy today? Eating. I was such a picky eater as a kid. I wouldn’t eat anything. Now I truly enjoy eating.
13. What are you glad you quit? Smoking.
14. What do you need to spend more time doing? Hanging with Paul and my friends, specifically MS, who I haven’t seen in forever.
15. What are you naturally good at? Memorization
16. What have you been counting or keeping track of recently? Ha ha…I do Weight Watchers so I track everything; what I eat, what I drink, and my activity.
17. What has the little voice inside your head been saying lately? You’re doing great, keep it up!
18. What’s something you should always be careful with? My words
19. What should always be taken seriously? Life
20. What should never be taken seriously? Life
21. What are three things you can’t get enough of? This tough trying to think of non-food related things…lol! I would say Nia, yoga, and vegan cupcakes 
22. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you? I probably would have been more social when I was heavier. I think back not just on earlier this year but back to 2008 when I moved from WA to Philly but I didn’t really see many of my old friends while I lived there because I was ashamed of how I looked.
23. What fascinates you? The body’s ability to heal itself
24. What’s the difference between being alive and truly living? Ha! Dacia February 2011 vs. Dacia December 2011. I say this pretty frequently- the best part of the changes I have made in my life is that they allow me to be an active participant in it. Before I was a couch potato, always on the sidelines, never really doing anything and the days just ticked by. Now I look forward to every day, every new (and most of the time small) adventure that arises. It’s fucking fabulous!
Thanks for reading!
Thought-Provoking Thursday: 95 Questions Part 2
Continuing on from last week’s post, here are my answers to 24 more questions from Marc and Angel Hack Life’s 95 Questions to Help You Find Meaning and Happiness post. If you are participating in this four part post please leave me your answers or link to your blog in the comments section.
1. What was the most defining moment in your life during this past year? February 22- my turning point. The day I recognized I had to be accountable for any changes I wanted to make and that I need to recognize that I was the only person responsible for where I was in my life. That day I took ownership of my life and dedicated myself to becoming the best possible version of myself I could be.
2. What’s the number one change you need to make in your life in the next twelve months? Creating balance. I have been able to get where I am today because of the amazing husband of mine who has picked up my slack. Next year I need to work on creating balance that will allow me to take back some of my household duties and not rely on Paul as much.
3. What’s the number one thing you want to achieve in the next five years? Become a practicing Nia and Journey Dance teacher
4. What is the biggest motivator in your life right now? My health and removing as many health risks as possible so I can live a long life
5. What will you never do? Shop at Wal-Mart on Black Friday- that’s just asking for trouble
6. What’s something you said you’d never do, but have since done? Get married. I never thought that would happen.
7. What’s something new you recently learned about yourself? I can ride an upright stationary bike. When I first started working out I couldn’t and I had to use a recumbent bike instead. Now I can ride an upright bike. Next up- a spin bike.
8. What do you sometimes pretend to understand that you really do not? Pretty much anything Paul says that has to do with the army. Most of the time I have no clue and I hate having to constantly ask him to explain stuff.
9. In one sentence, what do you wish for your future self? Future self: I wish for you the courage to follow your heart and make your dreams come true.
10. What worries you most about the future? Not having saved enough for retirement
11. When you look into the past, what do you miss most? I miss having my friends close by. I wish that all of my friends, from childhood, college, etc, could all just live near me. I miss hugs and hanging out in person.
12. What’s something from the past that you don’t miss at all? The 100 pounds that have recently left my body.
13. What recently reminded you of how fast time flies? My friend’s younger brother is having a child. I still picture him as a little kid and any day now he’ll be a father.
14. What is the biggest challenge you face right now? Finding the time and figuring out the best method for me to learn and teach Nia routines
15. In one word, how would you describe your personality? Quirky
16. What never fails to frustrate you? People who talk on cell phones in public restrooms. That bothers me and kind of creeps me out. It’s just weird.
17. What are you known for by your friends and family? Hmmm…maybe being a good cook. Hopefully for being a good friend too.
18. What’s something most people don’t know about you? I am a licensed aircraft mechanic and I have nine tattoos.
19. What’s a common misconception people have about you? People think that since I am fat that I am not flexible but actually I have always been flexible (like as in bendy, yoga type flexible) even when I was at my heaviest. When people see me practice yoga or see me stretching for the first time they are usually shocked.
20. What’s something a lot of people do that you disagree with? Not put themselves/ their health first. I know how dangerous that can be. I was there less than a year ago and it was a very scary position to be in.
21. What’s a belief you hold with which many people disagree? The belief that I am the only person standing between me and my dreams. I can achieve those dreams or I can stop them from coming true- no one else.
22. What’s something that’s harder for you than it is for most people? I have no idea about this one but since I can still barely jog/run for a minute and I know tons of people who are runners I’m going to have to say that running is harder for me than most people.
23. What are the top three qualities you look for in a friend? Loyalty, compassion, sense of humor- in no particular order.
24. If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow that person to be your friend? I’ve been working on being nicer to myself, not being so critical, to recognize my beauty and not compare myself to others, to get the envy and jealousy tamed. I’m human though so sometimes I slip up. I think that if I had a friend that treated me that way, kind and loving most of the time with only a negative comment once in awhile, I would probably stay friends with them for a long time.
Thanks for reading!
Thought-Provoking Thursday: 95 Questions, Part One
It has been awhile since my last ‘thought-provoking Thursday’ post so
when I saw Mark and Angel Hack Life’s post this week, 95 Questions to Help you Find Meaning and Happiness, I knew I would want to
incorporate them into my post this week. My BFF James & Jax had the
same idea so after you read this head over to her blog and check out
her answers. After reading through Mark and Angel’s post I decided
that I would break this up into four parts tackling a new set of
questions each week. I thought this could help provide some personal
perspective and guidance heading into a new year. I look forward to
sharing my answers with you and if you decide to answer these
questions too please leave me a link to your post or share some of
your answers in the comments section.
1. In one sentence, who are you? I am a wife, daughter and friend on a
quest to become the best version of myself possible.
2. Why do you matter? Because I love
3. What is your life motto? ‘be the change you want to see in the world’
4. What’s something you have that everyone wants? True love
5. What is missing in your life? children
6. What’s been on your mind most lately? change
7. Happiness is a ________? Hug (or kiss from my doggies)
8. What stands between you and happiness? Nothing except myself sometimes
9. What do you need most right now? Heat, its freezing cold in here.
But seriously what I need most right now (and every day) is support
which I am thankful to have an abundance of
10. What does the child inside you long for? Scheduled nap times like
in kindergarten
11. What is one thing right now that you are totally sure of? I love myself
12. What’s been bothering you lately? Stories in the news about child
rape cases- it’s too much. I hate that innocent children were hurt in
such disgusting ways.
13. What are you scared of? dying
14. What has fear of failure stopped you from doing? Before,
everything. Now, nothing.
15. What will you never give up on? Myself. I will never again give up
on myself.
16. What do you want to remember forever? My wedding day
17. What makes you feel secure? The loving people I have in my life.
18. Which activities make you lose track of time? Any physical
activities (especially walking/hiking, Nia, and yoga) and listening to
music
19. What’s the most difficult decision you’ve ever made? A few come to
mind, none of which I am ready to share on a public blog. Sorry guys.
20. What’s the best decision you’ve ever made? Saying yes!
21. What are you most grateful for? This life
22. What is worth the pain? I am guessing childbirth would be worth
the pain. Love is always worth the possibility of pain.
23. In order of importance, how would you rank: happiness, money,
love, health, fame? Love, health, happiness, money, fame
24. What is something you’ve always wanted, but don’t yet have?
Children…and someone to come clean my house.
Thanks for reading!
